It's Ok Not To Be Ok

Ok, its been 6 months since my last blog and things have not been going well. Since Christmas and being 11stone 12ish at the end of the year I have put on a stone and done near to no exercise at all.

I don't really want to make any excuses but I did have some strange 'heart stuff' going on for the past 3 months which seems to have calmed down a bit *touch wood* and for the last week or so I have had chronic tooth ache. I was just getting back into it I had done a few dvd work outs and was really excited about going swimming but something would get in the way last week and tonight / tomorrow my tooth... I have also been getting my own digital portfolio up and running online recently, which is done now so that's not an excuse anymore... I have been plain lazy sometimes as well though.

But considering I am the same weight now I was this time last year, I cant help but feel I have gone backwards, easily done I know but I swore it wouldn't happen to me. If my heart stuff hadn't happened I don't think it would of been as drastic...

I'm disappointed in myself though and I know I shouldn't be but I can't help it...
I mean, we all do it, its not called yo yo dieting for nothing is it? A few girls I know have problems with their weight staying the same once they are happy, I think everyone does.

But this is not gonna be a 'woe is me' blog at all its gonna be a 'right now, what do I need to do to change this' blog. Lets make some changes and get back in the game...

I really am DETERMINED to be 10 stone something... its just going to be that little bit harder now and take that little bit longer. But I am going to do it. Hopefully this year, but slowly and safely is the best way to lose weight and keep it off too.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy with how I look now and how far I have come definitely, its hard to imagine wearing size 22 trousers again now I'm a size 14 / 16 and that I can wear skinny fit tees now and I used to wear big baggy mens ones.

I don't think I'm going to make any promises in this blog this time, it tend to set you back a bit if you don't quite make it and I think thats what happened to me, "I didn't make my goal anyway so this cake wont matter" I could hear myself saying time and time again...

I am going to set myself some objectives though, which are less scary I think and maybe once I get back in the swing 100% I can set weekly / monthly targets again.

Ok so my objectives for April are going to be:

• Get back in healthy eating habits! - Stop eating so many sweets, it doesn't help what a bugger my boyfriend is for sweets he is a bit of a bad impression on me, and if the sweets are in the house I'm more tempted but I must regain control, I had it once... Eat more often but smaller portions seemed to work great for me before, 3 small meals a day with 2 / 3 healthy snacks.
• Try and do a form of exercise every other day! - whether it is a dvd, exercise game, swimming or gym class or even just walking quickly everywhere I go, dancing around for a while or a few sit ups.
• Go swimming once a week! - Monday / Thursday nights would work I think and I love swimming it just getting there that I struggle with...
  
• Get back into kickboxing! - It is my arms that make me most unhappy, its getting warmer and this looks like yet another summer I cant bare my arms, so get your head in the game Jess, seriously.

I would quite like to join a dance class or something, I'm going to look into that for something new this time, I do like to mix it up.
I'm also going to blog more often about how this next 'next go round' goes... lol

It just takes motivation and commitment both I have had before and just need to find again and its a perfect time to do so, I'm still only working part time and its getting nice weather to get out and do things.

I am a new Jess starting today, this isn't to say I wont be eating take away or fast food and chocolate ever... I am not that kind of dieter, I have always though eat what you want but the bead stuff in moderation and if you do have cake expect extra effort in the gym or pool then decide if it is worth it... A treat every now and then is ok and I wouldn't want to change myself totally cause then this will happen again next time I get close and need a break for a month or so.

But anyway thats all, eventually I will write something to coincide with my book!! but this stuff is good to, its always good to document experiences to look back on and spur you again.

You have to remember sometimes it's OK not to be OK but to get back on track as soon as you can. You can do it.